Whose Zoid Is It Anyway?
by Ietroitghetto66
Summary: Funny please R+R
1. Welcome

Hocy: Welcome to my fic this is gonna be funny but before we start I'd like to say to maxindpogster your fic inspired me this is like it but changed so please don't sue. So anyway, I don't own zoids so please don't sue on to the fic "Whose zoid is it anyway?"  
  
  
  
Music starts and I'm up in the crowd "welcome to "whose zoid is it anyway?" with show me the money show me the money Brad um=Hunter gjjfkggfdHunter. Are you hiding something Leena Torous? I didn't do it Bit Cloud. And I can't believe you did that Jamie Hemeros. And I'm your host Hocykid c'mon lets go have some fun". "Welcome to "Whose Zoid Is It Anyway" the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter that's right the points don't matter just like Harry's love for Leena (lol). If you've never seen this show before then what happens is that these performers will make up everything you see them do. And at the end of every game we give them points, don't know why just a gag to hold the show together. And at the end of the show we pick a winner and the winner gets to do a little special somethin with me [everyone crosses fingers] and the loser gets to say thank you sir may I have another (lots of laughter). Well on to the first game film, TV, and theater style this game is for Leena, Jamie, and Bit. Now what I need from the audience is some styles of film, TV, and theater styles."  
  
  
  
Person 1: Anime  
  
Hocy: Anime  
  
Person2: cooking  
  
Hocy: cooking got it  
  
Person3: soap opera  
  
Hocy: soap opera  
  
Person4: south park  
  
Hocy: south park  
  
Person5: spider-man  
  
Hocy: spider-man  
  
Person6: gang fights  
  
Hocy: gang fights  
  
Person7: Japanese monster movies  
  
Hocy: Japanese ok we have enough suggestions now in this scene Bit the high- school nerd is trying to get the attention of the high-school hottie Leena when the bully Jamie comes.  
  
(In high nasal voice) "Hi Leena" Bit says "hi Bit" she says annoyed slightly." "Hey what's goin on here?" Jamie says. "Soap Opera" I say. "Ya you see what's goin on" Bit says in normal voice. "Do you really think that I can't see your trying to steal my girl" Jamie says menacingly. "cooking" I shout. "Well to get rid of those nasty nerds that infest your girl is cook her at 400 degrees farenheight for 3 hours." Jamie says, "since we couldn't do that we have a prepared girl" Bit says. They pull out Leena and Jamie says "wow look at the results". "Japanese monster movie" I say. "Look out" Leena says and her mouth keeps moving. "Yes run" Jamie says and his mouth keeps moving. "Oh-no" Bit says and keeps his mouth moving for a long time. Everyone run away in fear its Hocykid" and keeps moving mouth for a while. {Crowd cracks up}. (I have a new dialogue list for this fic ok here it is {}= crowd laughing, me laughing, performers doing something []= thoughts ( )= author notes and other things you get it). "Ok just for that gang fights". Jamie looks at Leena then they both advance towards him to gang up on him. "Your going down nerd from the nerd groups" Jamie says. "Oh- no you don't" Bit says then runs up to crowd and grabs a guy and takes him down to the stage/floor and says "ha now I've got a teammate". {Buzzer} "great a thousand points to that guy you pulled down here Bit and 100 points to Leena for being caught in the middle".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ok on to the second game, my personal favorite props". "Alright I'm dragging all of you down here". "This is Bit and Leena's prop {hands them two sphere like things} and here's Brad and Jamie's prop {hands them two comb things} ok Bit you and Leena start". They pretend to play basketball "Hey Leena your shoelace is untied" she looks down and he dribbles around her. {Buzzer}. Jamie and Brad put comb things by their forehead and start singing "oh were uni-brows and proud of it". {Buzzer}. Leena puts spheres up on chest and Bit says, "look its Pamela Anderson Lee"! {Buzzer} Jamie puts comb thing near mouth and says in strange accent "do you like my moustache?" {Buzzer}. Bit picks up both spheres and attempts to juggle "look its one of those suckey jugglers" Leena says and Bit drops balls and walks away. {Buzzer}. Brad walks up to Jamie and says "can I borrow your comb I need it for my extremely long hair" {crowd laughs} "alright one thousand points to Leena for doing the closest impression we can get to Pamela and what the heck one million points to Pamela for being hot" {crowd cracks up}.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Alright were taking a break but don't go away we'll be right back".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hocy: Hope you liked part one I did sorry if it wasn't funny but hey I did my best. Anyway if you want to give me ideas for any of the games feel free to tell me one in the review peace out. 


	2. After the commercials

"Welcome back to whose zoid is it anyway the game where every things made up and the points don't matter, yes that's right the points don't matter just like gunsnipers extra arsenals seem like they never do anything" {Leena gives me death glare}. "Well on to a game I like to call "party guests", in this scene Jamie is hosting a party and Leena, Brad, and Bit are party guests and we've given them strange characteristics they have to act out and Jamie has to guess who they are". "So whenever you're ready you may start".  
  
{Jamie pretends to talk on phone} "ya I've got every thing chips, soda the whose zoid is it anyway homegame uh-huh ya and it even came with a inflatable Hocy doll {doorbell} sorry go to talk to ya later". Jamie walks over and opens door and Bit steps in.  
  
{Bit is a man who thinks he's a woman}. "Howdy Jamie you have any makeup I need to fix my face ok" Bit says in feminine voice.  
  
"Um ok try the bathroom I think my wife has some in the cabinet," Jamie says.  
  
"Thanks" Bit says  
  
{Doorbell} Jamie goes and answers it.  
  
{Brad is a who thinks the worlds ending} "Oh hi you enjoying the last days of earth, you know you must make due with what you have preserve your- oh what do you know chips" Brad says in creepy voice.  
  
"Uh ya their ruffles" Jamie says.  
  
{Doorbell} "I'll get it" Jamie says and looks at Bit whose looking over himself in mirror and Brad is meditating.  
  
{Leena is a stripper} "Hi I'll let myself in," she says in sexy voice.  
  
"Ya um right I'm gonna go check on the Rabbi".  
  
"Nope he's not a rabbi" I say.  
  
"Do you think I look fat in this dress" Bit says.  
  
"Do you mind it's getting hot in here maybe I'll just pull this jacket off whoops I dropped oil over myself".  
  
"Look I didn't order any stripper to my party" Jamie says.  
  
"Yes she is a stripper," I say.  
  
Brad is praying in corner "look my son the sun will soon set permanently the earth is being destroyed", Brad says.  
  
"Look I don't know what your talking about the world is not coming to an end", Jamie says.  
  
"Absolutely correct" I say.  
  
"You know I really should invite cross-dressers to my party more often" Jamie tells Bit.  
  
"Nope getting close" I say. {Buzzer} "sorry times up wanna take a wild guess", I ask.  
  
"Um can I get another clue" Jamie asks.  
  
"Hey the strippers just like me can I join you next time" he shouts to Leena.  
  
"Oh I got it Bit thinks he's a girl," Jamie says.  
  
"Correct" I say and everyone goes back to chairs. "Ok 400 points to Leena for giving the best entertainment money can buy, and what the heck 300 points to Bit for wanting to join" I say. "So who invited her was that you Brad {holds up hands defensively} how much was that half your prize money?" I ask.  
  
  
  
"This next game includes all four of you it is called sitcom title". "Now what we need from the audience is a suggestion of two unlikely roommates".  
  
  
  
Person7: F.D.R. and John F. Kennedy  
  
Hocy: That one was good F.D.R. and John F. Kennedy  
  
Now Jamie and Brad will sing the sitcom title song while Bit and Leena act it out". We'll do this with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor (I do not own them). (Oh ya and / / is singing).  
  
  
  
/Oh it's the presidents and their together both are dead no surprise/. /Ones got a wheelchair the other one has been assassinated/. /But their together under the same roof my god/. /They live together doing presidential things like paperwork and making laws/. One made the presidential fitness test (boo) the other lived in the great depression/. Oh their the presidents and man it is great because every night theirs a wild partly. {Buzzer} "weird guys very weird".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"On to the next game scenes from a hat this is for all four of you, before every show we ask the audience to write down suggestions and we pull them out of the hat and you have to act it out". "Alright {pulls slip from hat} things not to say to Leena while she's in bad mood" I said. Bit walks and says "  
  
hey Leena I took apart your gunsniper and took off all of the extra arsenals".  
  
Brad steps up "hey Leena I ate all the cookies" Brad says.  
  
Jamie steps up "can you hit anything?" he asks.  
  
{Buzzer} "ok how about messages delivered too late".  
  
Leena steps up "the British are coming, the British are coming", she says.  
  
Bit steps up "hey F.D.R. we found a cure for polio" he says.  
  
Jamie steps up "Mr. Kennedy look out"! Jamie says.  
  
{Buzzer} "um things not to say to celebrities".  
  
Brad steps up "hey Mel Gibson I thought you should've died in Patriot".  
  
Jamie steps up "hey guy who plays James bond (so I don't know his name big deal) I really think The World Is Not Enough sucked big time you hardly killed anyone".  
  
{Buzzer} "things you don't want to see on your TV screen".  
  
Bit steps up /It's F.D.R. and J.F.K./ "what, what is this".  
  
Brad steps up "Zoids???!!! Who in the hell made this"?  
  
Jamie steps up "the destroying of Jamie's terrace and raynos", goes into a shocked expression.  
  
{Buzzer} "now things not to say to god".  
  
Leena steps up "nice to meet cha' hmmm not as great as I thought you'd be".  
  
Bit steps up "if you're the ruler of the world what have you ever done for us".  
  
Brad steps up "do I get paid for being up here?"  
  
Jamie steps up "do you think my terrace is up here?"  
  
Bit steps up "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"  
  
{Buzzer} "things not to say during a date".  
  
Leena steps up "Hey that guy over there is hot".  
  
Jamie steps up "so how much do I pay you for this date?"  
  
Brad steps up "do I get paid for this date?"  
  
Bit steps up "so how many guys have you seen?"  
  
{Buzzer} "bad parental speeches".  
  
Bit steps up "you wanna be a teacher, a teacher honey hookers make ten times more then a teacher".  
  
Bit steps up again "what do you mean you injured another kid what's that you only hit with a stick oh well I'm proud of you lets get some booze".  
  
{Buzzer} ok 2000 points top Bit for welcoming another hooker into the world and 600 points to Brad for repeatedly asking if he gets paid".  
  
  
  
"We'll be right back don't go away".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hoped you like pt.2 it was longer I hope review please peace. 


	3. back again

"Welcome back to whose zoid is it anyway? The show where everything is made up and the points don't matter, that's right they don't matter just like all of Bill Gates extra cash where does he spend that money?" "Anyway on to the next game questions only this is for all four of you". "The catch do this game is you can only speak in questions the scene is at a ice-cream parlor".  
  
Jamie and Bit start Bit acts as if he's behind the counter.  
  
"What flavor you want? ", Bit asks.  
  
"What kind ya got?" Jamie asks.  
  
"Do you want vanilla?" Bit asks. (I'm gonna stop putting he/she asked instead I'll just put who goes first then you figure it out).  
  
"Do you have chocolate"?  
  
"Are you saying are business isn't good enough for chocolate?"  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"Um shut up" {buzzer Brad steps up now their pretending that their at a table}. (Brad goes first).  
  
"What flavor do you have?"  
  
"Do you know what flavor I have?"  
  
Do you know what flavor I have?"  
  
"…." {Buzzer Leena steps up}. (Leena is first).  
  
"What topping do you have?"  
  
"Is that a cop?"  
  
"Is that your mom?"  
  
"Is that your kid?"  
  
"Is that yours?"  
  
"Do I get paid for talking to you?"  
  
"I don't know does your {censored} get that big?"  
  
{Walks away Jamie steps up Jamie is first}.  
  
"Do you have a boyfriend?"  
  
"I don't know does he look like you?"  
  
"Does he?"  
  
"Do you wish you were mine?"  
  
"Do dogs bark?"  
  
"So your saying you want to be my boyfriend?"  
  
"No I'm asking do dogs bark?"  
  
{Walks off and buzzer sounds everyone heads back to their seat}.  
  
  
  
"Great, great 1000 points to Jamie for acting incredibly stupid". "Let's move on to our next game weird newscasters this game is for all four of you". "In this game Brad is the news anchor and Jamie you're his co-anchor and you think everyone is against you". "And Leena is doing the sports she is a Pamela Anderson Lee wannabe, it is coming back to haunt you Leena". "Bit your doing the sports and you are a guy who thinks the world is on fire". {Bit stares at him then shakes his head}. "So Jamie you can start whenever you hear the music". {Music starts}.  
  
"Hi I'm smarter then you, today's top story three poisonous hamsters escaped from a zoo today after getting angered by kids throwing food at it". "Now over to my co-anchor Big one, Big?"  
  
"Thanks for handing the duties to me just like your handing me over to the enemy traitor".  
  
"Right, now over to our sports reporter Hot stuff, Hot?"  
  
"Thanks smart now over in Texas the cowboys cheerleaders even though I'm better then them they led the team to victory against the worst team in the league the Detroit Lions". {Pretends to try and pull up her you knows to make them look better} "And the Detroit Red Wings are leading the series over Colorado Avalanche 1-0" (no joke).  
  
"Great thanks Hot, this just in people who believe in heaven and hell are more likely to go to church more often". "Now over to the weatherman Stormy Cloud, Stormy?"  
  
"Hey thanks Smart, is it me or is it getting hot in here, well anyway all over the world temperatures are rising to 100 degrees Celsius and farenheight". "Oh my god everyone stop drop and roll ahhhhh run away" {runs backstage looking for fire extinguisher}. {Bit is rolling one floor}.  
  
"Strange but informative" Jamie says.  
  
"You know what I think that, that is a joke to get me to help him but then he'll capture me and hand me over to them" {points to audience}. (Duh who do you think said that who thinks everyone is against him).  
  
"Join us at the 13:00 o'clock news coming up in q hours".  
  
"Great that was great uh 500 points to Leena for once again practically exposing herself to us and 400 points to Jamie for providing us entertainment from 0:00 o'clock to 20:00 o'clock in the morning".  
  
  
  
"Don't go away were gonna play a lot more games so if you change the channel Leena coming for a visit so don't touch that dial".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hope you liked part.3 cause the next chapter will I hope be longer much longer keep rooting on the red wings review peace out people. 


	4. we're back

"Hey your back with me your host Hocykid and we tried to find the best performers we could find for this show but all we could find was this"{camera turns to Brad, Leena, Jamie, and Bit}. "Let's move on to our next game let's make a date once again this game is for all four of you". "Leena who is appearing on a dating type show and who is looking for the man of her dreams unfourtunently all there is, is these three". "The catch to this game is I've given them all strange characteristics and Leena will ask our bachelors questions and then try and guess what they are".  
  
"Hi bachelor number 1".  
  
{Bit is an old western man} "Yep what 'cha need youngin".  
  
"Bachelor number one I like Cherry pie what kind of pie do you like?"  
  
"Well I'd have to say tobacco pie {old man's laugh}".  
  
"Strange um Bachelor number two who do you think you are in the world?"  
  
{Jamie is a stuck-up prep boy and then he says in high-pitched snotty voice} "Well my place is to be better at anything anyone else does {high- pitched stuck-up laugh}".  
  
"Weird I think you are kinda weird".  
  
"That's everyone says about me but they don't know I'm better then them".  
  
"Bachelor number three I like cookies do you".  
  
{Brad is a guy who just won't die } "Ya I like cookies and the enemy probably does too that's why you have to ugh {pretends to get shot} I'm hit say goodbye to my mom and my girlfriend too {pretends to fall face flat on the ground}.  
  
"Very fascinating bachelor number three, Bachelor number one do you like a nice quiet dinner at home or a wild night out?"  
  
"I'd have to say a wild night out to have some fun". "And maybe a few chicks [old man's laugh}."  
  
"Ugh and also say goodbye to Timmy too and my dad I didn't like him but tell him I said bye" Brad says  
  
  
  
"Bachelor number two I like eggs and bacon for breakfast what do you like for breakfast".  
  
"Well I like caviar and wine".  
  
"Odd, bachelor number three my hobby is to collect stamps what's yours?"  
  
"I have to say dying of blood loss".  
  
"That's horrible" {Buzzer}.  
  
"Ok try and guess who they are".  
  
"Well Bachelor number one was a old man or something".  
  
"Yes".  
  
"And bachelor number two was a rich guy".  
  
"Close enough".  
  
And bachelor number three is someone who won't die".  
  
"Dead on" {everyone goes back to seats}. "300 points to Bit for being himself". "On to the next game our favorite hoe-down". "And now what we need is something your afraid of".  
  
Person8: Grandma  
  
Person9: Principle  
  
Person10: girlfriend  
  
Hocy: I'll take Principle the principle hoedown with the help of Laura Hall on the piano" {music starts}.  
  
/When I was a kid I never wanted to learn I thought learnin was such a bore but then I got sent to our principle man was he scary he looked just like Drew Carey/ Jamie sang.  
  
/When I was growing I was the clown that would make all the teachers frown and when they finally flipped their lid I would get sent to principle hocykid/ Bit sang.  
  
/As a kid man was I a horror I was rotten to the core but when it came to mean our principle took the cake he would throw kids into the lake/ Leena sang.  
  
/I hated school jeez what a bore my report card was always torn but my teacher was worse her name was ms. Timpson she'd always sent me to the principle that looked like O.J. Simpson/ Brad sang /looked like O.J. Simpson/ everyone echoed.  
  
"That was awesome 1,000,000,000 points to everyone".  
  
  
  
"Don't go away we'll be right back with the winner for tonight".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Good bad? What do you think tell me in the review peace 


	5. The winner is...

"Hey welcome back tonight's winner is Leena Torous". And me Brad and Jamie have to do the 90 second alphabet now we need a letter from the alphabet".  
  
Person12: q  
  
Person13: m  
  
Hocy: I heard m we are going with m now Leena what is the scene.  
  
"In this scene it is world war two and it is the middle of the battle when Jamie runs out of ammo".  
  
"Man I'm out of ammo". (Jamie starts Brad is second you figure out whose next).  
  
"Need some".  
  
"Oscar bring more next time".  
  
"Pete we need to concentrate on the battle".  
  
"Quick duck".  
  
"Run the bombs are bursting in mid-air".  
  
"Sonny get the gun".  
  
"Trench into the trench".  
  
"Under it".  
  
"Vietnam soldiers".  
  
"Which way did they go?"  
  
"Xylophones".  
  
"Zach stop playing the xylophones".  
  
"Asses that is what you guys are".  
  
"But we need to fight in the battle".  
  
"Could you concentrate for a quarter of a second".  
  
""Dang too many nazi's".  
  
"Everywhere".  
  
"Freaks!"  
  
"Got ammo?"  
  
"Heck with that".  
  
"Iron bomb shells".  
  
"30 seconds"  
  
"Just great".  
  
"Killer dogs".  
  
"Look out they have rabies".  
  
"More letters next time". {Buzzer}.  
  
  
  
"Hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of whose zoid is it anyway join us next time for a ton more of fun".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Like dis-like tell me in review I'll write new episode soon with different people maybe one different one. 


End file.
